SKIP Principles of Effective Parenting

Flowergirl

 skip-logo  This week‘s principle is:  Consistency and Consequences

Key questions for parents

  • Do I behave in the way I want my child to behave?
  • Do I respond the same way each time I see this behaviour?
  • Is this consequence:
  • related to the behaviour?
  • reasonable for my child’s ability?
  • respectful?

How do I respond to behaviours?

Any behaviour management strategies will work best when we understand the developmental stages our children are at. For example Time Out doesn’t work for children under 18 months of age because they’re not old enough to understand what’s happening.

With younger children distraction works best.

If the consequence calls for Time Out this works by stopping your child from getting attention. It’s about behaviour change not punishment

Using time out

Give your child a warning. Tell them what behaviour is unacceptable and say you will put them in time out if the behaviour doesn’t stop.

  • If they stop, give them lots of praise.
  • If the behaviour doesn’t stop, calmly take your child to a safe place where you can leave them for a short time. Time out works best for short periods – one minute for each year of a child’s age is enough.
  • Stay calm and try not to get angry. Don’t talk to your child or give them any other attention. If your child tries to leave the time out area before time is up calmly take them back. Repeat as necessary.

A timer can help signal clearly to everyone that time is up. Explain what happened and make sure you notice their good behaviour and give them lots of praise.

 Glitter Jar

Ian idea for settling down emotions can be to try a Glitter Jar (tamper proofed plastic bottle with water and glitter mixed in) which the adult shakes and gives to the child to hold until the glitter settles. The glitter can be shaken again if that is not enough time for the child to calm down.

 

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